My favorite Mark Twain quotes

ANGER IS AN ACID THAT CAN DO MORE HARM TO THE VESSEL IN WHICH IT IS STORED THAN TO ANYTHING ON WHICH IT IS POURED

ALL RIGHT, THEN, I'LL GO TO HELL

ALL YOU NEED IS IGNORANCE AND CONFIDENCE AND THE SUCCESS IS SURE

BUT WHO PRAYS FOR SATAN? WHO, HAS HAD THE COMMON HUMANITY TO PRAY FOR THE ONE SINNER THAT NEEDED IT MOST?

CLOTHES MAKE THE HUMAN, NAKED PEOPLE HAVE LITTLE OR NO INFLUENCE ON SOCIETY

DO THE THING YOU FEAR MOST AND THE DEATH OF FEAR IS CERTAIN

DRAG YOUR THOUGHTS AWAY FROM YOUR TROUBLES... BY THE EARS, BY THE HEELS, OR ANY WAY YOU CAN MANAGE IT

GO TO HEAVEN FOR THE CLIMATE, HELL FOR THE COMPANY

HUMOR IS MANKIND'S GREATEST BLESSING

I AM AN OLD MAN AND HAVE KNOWN A GREAT MANY TROUBLES, BUT MOST OF THEM NEVER HAPPENED

I DIDN'T ATTEND THE FUNERAL, BUT I SENT A NICE LETTER SAYING I APPROVED OF IT

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN FOR THE MAN THAT CAN ONLY SPELL A WORD ONE WAY